Fitness, Fun, and Tears of the Young - Wednesday's Child

G r e e t i n g s  E a r t h l i n g s

Goood Wednesday, readers. Today is a mediocre day. (Which by my standards is pretty good, so let's just roll with that.)

This week, find out how I:

 - Finished season seven of House
 - Created a fitness schedule for myself
 - Had the show I was going to be in cancelled
 - After four weeks of rehearsal
 - Suffered the reappearance of my insomnia
 - Had my first cup of tea ever that I didn't spit out and throw up at
 - Gotten very fucking angry at my school for softcore transphobia (which I'll get to next week)

So yes, all in all it's been an exciting week filled with twists, turns and a couple of kick-you-in-the-crotch-fantastic letdowns. My show was cancelled as a similar show with the same title is actually currently running as a fringe production, (which our drama guy didn't actually realise when he wrote it for our group). So, due to legal issues, one of the only shows I've been excited about in this group has been cancelled. That kind of sucked.

Also my insomnia's back, which is making everything I try and do (including constructing coherent and witty sentences, do schoolwork, and generally muster the will to live) is made about 79% more difficult. Oh yeah, and that includes trying to get to sleep.

However

I did try my first cup of herbal tea, and it didn't totally suck. It was some leafy herbal infused shit that my mum bought a couple of months ago, (which we'd totally forgotten we even had), so to break in our new state of the art you-can-set-the-temperature-for-your-beverage kettle (which has recommended heat settings for different kinds of tea on the side) we each had a cup. I didn't spit mine straight out, which is always a good sign, so I figure if I can force myself to semi-enjoy this stuff, then maybe I can force myself to enjoy green tea, and experience it's magical properties for myself. I have been told that it's basically like giving speed to your metabolism and everything is processed through your body faster. Also this particular herbally-mystical leafy crap is supposed to have calming effects on the body and help you sleep (which sounds a little creepy but whatever.)

So, with those factoids out of the way (that's the 'fun' in my title done), on to the 'fitness' and 'tears of the young'.

Yes, 2015 is the year I decided to get hot. (That being said, thanks to some pictures from Maya, we can both say that puberty has done a pretty good job so far because she actually turned out pretty well and I only turned out kind of resembling an out of date potato.) But anyway. 2015. Me. Hot.

It's going to be a long, arduous journey, filled with me hating everything and everyone. But I swear to Jesus himself, come my eighteenth birthday, I am going to fucking slay like the firebreathing gorgeous dragon I am. In the meantime, to get to that get-the-fuck-outta-my-way stage, I'm going to have to do some exercise.

Now, this isn't entirely just so that I can be that intimidating hot girl at the bar who can just turn guys down because 'nah bruh', this is also because I'm 5'3 and I struggle to open some doors because I am, in fact, pathetic. Like, it's not even funny any more.

My areas of toning-concentration are my arms, back, abs, hips and butt. I have rock solid legs already for some unknown reason, as Lollie discovered a few months ago when she poked them, so I don't need to work on them, but I've looked up some leg exercises just for y'all to enjoy.

Arms

30 x full bicep curls
30 x reverse bridge dips
15 hi lo planks
15 x tricep extension each side
15 x push ups (or 30 x wall push ups)


Back/Shoulders

30 x overheard press
15 x one arm dumbbell row each side
15 x lateral raises each side
15 front raises

Abs

30 x sit ups
15 x oblique sit ups each side
30 second plank (every two days increase by ten seconds)
30 x mountain climbers

Hips (My personal hell)

30 second side plank each side (every two days increase by five seconds)
30 x hip dippers each side
30 x candle stick dippers each side

Butt

30 x squat
30 x donkey kick
30 x butt bridges
30 x fire hydrants

Legs

30 x forward lunges
15 x squat jumps
30 x jumping jacks
15 x side legs raises each side

Don't let these smiling faces deceive you. I'm on day three, my body feels like it's on fire and I'm regretting every single life decision that brought me here. Also, top tip, if this all seems like a fucking dumb idea, either half every exercise, or just don't do them and go get a pizza. That would 112% be the smarter option.

And if you're up for a jog, it's a very good all over body toner, but everything is painful and you have to go outside, which is bad.

Stay safe, stay (sort of) healthy, and as always,

I'm with you 'till the end of the line, folks ♥