Hello Ladies, Gentlemen and Non-Binaries,
Guess who!? That's right it's me, every bodies favorite depressive Transsexual Blogger. Here to post more emotional stuff ( don't worry i'm sure the other Sweethearts will soon get back to posting happy and uplifting things instead of my depressing bullshit)
I'm a Trans-woman we all know that. To be honest i'm the most open and honest Trans* person you'll likely ever hear from. As is common knowledge most transgender people will choose to have varying surgeries and therapies to become the person they truly are, I say most because this is not always the case as may be the way with me.
As one can imagine this is a lot of change and physical augmentation. In my case this would involve a lot of surgeries and varying chemical and hormonal therapies. The surgeries would give me a vagina, they would help to change my bone and facial structure and with optional therapies i could get a boob and bum augmentation to give me some added "Junk in the trunk". The hormones would change the inner workings of my body; i would develop boobs (up to a B cup at best) and cause fat to distribute to my hips giving me the curved figure of a natal woman.
On the side there are varying external changes that often take place before the surgery as is the current case with me. This will involve hair cuts and piercings. Things that are common place with the societal image of femininity.
These are the changes that i am currently going through. As a pre-surgery Trans-woman i am beginning to change my appearance to suit that of my Gender identity. I have cut my hair into a bob which will grow out over the years into the full blown style that i want. I have also very recently gotten my ears pierced. There is also bodily grooming on the side but that is something i shan't go into. ( I think we're all mature enough to know what i'm talking about)
These changes are incredibly minor compared to what i'll have to go through with the major surgeries later on. To be brutally honest i may well die during the surgeries and therapies that i'll under go. Yet here i am scared out of my mind over a haircut and ear piercing that I've already got. It seems as though i need to acquire some perspective doesn't it?
That's all very far off any way. I have yet to even get an appointment with a gender specialist (Although to the credit of my GP he is working his butt of trying to get me that appointment so i applaud him highly for that) Even so i would still have to be highly evaluated by several psychiatrist be clinically diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria and the i would need to go through the 2 year real life application phase and then undergo hormone therapy for the majority of my life and have all the surgery. Hormonally i would be a woman after 4 years of therapy but still. I won't be done transitioning till i'm 25 at least, so there really is no point in worrying yet.
On another note my vitamin D levels are incredibly low. I think i mentioned before how low i was but i'm not sure so i'll tell you any way. If normal levels in the average human being are 200... I'm at 23!! I previously was deficient with a level of 19 but i was given pills to boost me wich got me well above 200. Any way i've dropped down and now i have to take pills that are 20,000 iu every week for three months and then maintain it with over the counter supplements. Basically i'm on the verge of falling apart. Yestarday i had some blood tests for the vitamin D and before that i had blood sent of with my referal. Long story short i was stabbed three times yesterday and four times the week before. Most times when that happens people end up 6ft under which is a strange thought.
Anyway, it seems that, while i'm scared with my transition, i have more pressing matters to worry about so my fear will be ignored. I'm a big girl i'm sure i'll manage.
Anyway, This is your Friendly Neighborhood Transsexual signing off XOXO
No comments:
Post a Comment