As tends to be the case with most Trans people (but not all) i intend to transition at some point in my life, i intend to physically become the woman i am inside. This, as i'm sure you know, takes a lot of time but here in the UK, it takes along time just to even get seen.
Today i'm going to just purely vent emotion because, well, i'm broken at the moment...
I've been waiting around 13 months to receive and appointment at a Gender Clinic here in London. I have yet to receive a date. However, two days ago i received some letters and forms in the mail. I eagerly read the letters and filled out the forms so i could send them off the very next day. Well i guess in a state of overwhelming joy i must not have read the letters fully or only seen what i wanted to see. Last night i re read my letter from the clinic. Figured i may as well what harm could it do right?
"We are sorry to have to advise you that at present our waiting times for appointments, from receipt of referral, are 13 months"
The letter I received two days ago was to confirm they had received my referral. That means, if my understanding of the wording is correct, i will have to wait for at least another year before i am seen by a specialist. Before somebody even begins to look at me!! I simply do not know if i can cope with that anymore.I'm confused, angry, upset. But most of all i'm numb. I almost expected something like this would happen. It was to good to be true, the thought of me transitioning now...
But wait, there's more. "Please be advised that due to a backlog there may be further delays in receiving and appointment date" More waiting then? Another thirteen months of daily dysphoria!! That shit nearly broke me during the last round, now your telling me that i have to go for round 2!!
I've made an appointment with my Dr to make sure my understanding is correct and, should it be correct, to try and get some form of support to help me cope with another 13 months of misery.
So in summary, I've waited a year to receive any hint of an appointment. As soon as there is a glimmer of hope, a hint of happiness... I am told that i may have to wait another year before i am seen.
In summary of me personally, struggling to cope, emotionally numb, indifferent and running on autopilot. My cravings for strawberries continues... And i could really use a long hug.
Anyway, this is your Friendly Neighborhood Transsexual, broken and signing off
XOXO
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