Surprise Bitch (I Bet You Thought You'd Seen the Last of Me) - Wednesday's Child

G r e e t i n g s  E a r t h l i n g s

How have y'all been? Pretty good? Wonderful. Truly beautiful. How have I been, I hear you call from the deep abyss of the internet? Pretty shitty, which for me is the equivalent of 'actually not too bad' for most people.

If I'm perfectly honest, I'm at a loss of what to write here. I could turn this into a sob story 'pity me 4 I sad and I strezed and I lyfe sux:(' post, or I could turn this into a 'OMFG my lyfe is so grate i luvv it so much i hv had an epipinay nd i guna mke it a speshul lyfe!!!!' post, but as I (hope) you're all aware, that isn't my style. Neither are my style. Do I even have a style?

In truth:

Am I having a sad life? Yes.

Am I making changes to that sad life? Yes.

Are they working? Yes totally of course 100%

What changes have I made? Not very many. I've stopped doing the following:

1. Hanging around/thinking about people that make me consider homicide
2. Giving a shit about other people's opinions
3. Procrastinating quite as much
4. Spending my days doing absolutely nothing
5. Unintentionally doing dumb shit that gets me hurt

Things I've started doing:

1. Detoxing
2. Losing weight
3. Drinking herbal teas and shit (like maybe 8/10 would recommend)
4. Listening to more smooth blues
5. Exercising
6. Actually revising and doing school work

Things I haven't quite managed to do yet:

1. Stop thinking about myself as a worthless, skill less piece of human trash who is wasting valuable oxygen supplies that the human race needs in order to continue surviving
2. Refer back to number one.


In all honesty, my changes are making a somewhat minute impact on my daily life, but I'm pretty sceptical of the whole 'If I think about butterflies for long enough I'll stop wanting to throw myself down an elevator shaft' approach. I mean, don't get me wrong, positive thinking has done a hell of a lot for some people, but my current outlook on life can be summarised by the mildly disturbing, twisted and fucked up poem, Resume by Dorothy Parker. (As quoted in Girl, Interrupted).  

'Razors pain you, rivers are damp. Acid stains you, drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, nooses give. Gas smells awful - you might as well live.'

As I said before, positive thinking rarely works on me.

As always, however, stay safe, and remember -

I'm with you 'till the end of the line, folks ♥

(Even if I'm a little bit broken.)

Also, I should probably do these:

Song of the Week: Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen
Woman Crush of the Week: Lupita Nyong'o
Man Crush of the Week: Michael Weatherly
Movie of the Week: Django Unchained