Surprise Bitch (I Bet You Thought You'd Seen the Last of Me) - Wednesday's Child

G r e e t i n g s  E a r t h l i n g s

How have y'all been? Pretty good? Wonderful. Truly beautiful. How have I been, I hear you call from the deep abyss of the internet? Pretty shitty, which for me is the equivalent of 'actually not too bad' for most people.

If I'm perfectly honest, I'm at a loss of what to write here. I could turn this into a sob story 'pity me 4 I sad and I strezed and I lyfe sux:(' post, or I could turn this into a 'OMFG my lyfe is so grate i luvv it so much i hv had an epipinay nd i guna mke it a speshul lyfe!!!!' post, but as I (hope) you're all aware, that isn't my style. Neither are my style. Do I even have a style?

In truth:

Am I having a sad life? Yes.

Am I making changes to that sad life? Yes.

Are they working? Yes totally of course 100%

What changes have I made? Not very many. I've stopped doing the following:

1. Hanging around/thinking about people that make me consider homicide
2. Giving a shit about other people's opinions
3. Procrastinating quite as much
4. Spending my days doing absolutely nothing
5. Unintentionally doing dumb shit that gets me hurt

Things I've started doing:

1. Detoxing
2. Losing weight
3. Drinking herbal teas and shit (like maybe 8/10 would recommend)
4. Listening to more smooth blues
5. Exercising
6. Actually revising and doing school work

Things I haven't quite managed to do yet:

1. Stop thinking about myself as a worthless, skill less piece of human trash who is wasting valuable oxygen supplies that the human race needs in order to continue surviving
2. Refer back to number one.


In all honesty, my changes are making a somewhat minute impact on my daily life, but I'm pretty sceptical of the whole 'If I think about butterflies for long enough I'll stop wanting to throw myself down an elevator shaft' approach. I mean, don't get me wrong, positive thinking has done a hell of a lot for some people, but my current outlook on life can be summarised by the mildly disturbing, twisted and fucked up poem, Resume by Dorothy Parker. (As quoted in Girl, Interrupted).  

'Razors pain you, rivers are damp. Acid stains you, drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, nooses give. Gas smells awful - you might as well live.'

As I said before, positive thinking rarely works on me.

As always, however, stay safe, and remember -

I'm with you 'till the end of the line, folks ♥

(Even if I'm a little bit broken.)

Also, I should probably do these:

Song of the Week: Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen
Woman Crush of the Week: Lupita Nyong'o
Man Crush of the Week: Michael Weatherly
Movie of the Week: Django Unchained

99 Questions - Wednesday's Child

As Lollie has done one of these, I was inspired to be lazy as hell and do one of my own. Enjoy.

 

 

 

• 1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

 - The Fifty Shades of Grey Version of Crazy In Love

 - Adrienne by The Calling

 - I See Fire by Ed Sheeran

 - Evil Walks by AC/DC

 - Just Tonight by The Pretty Reckless

 - St. James Infirmary by Hugh Laurie

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

 - I dunno either Obama, Hilary Clinton or Chris Evans

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

 - "He ran into Gretel's room without knocking." - The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

4: What do you think about most?

 - Bucky Barnes, world hunger, possibility of a career as a stripper

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

 - "He told me that bit."

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

 - Clothes on, what if there's a fire?

7: What's your strangest talent?

 - There are at least two people that can't look at my face for more than five seconds without laughing (one is Lollie.) Does that count?

8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence)

- Girls like sex, Boys like sex

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

- Probably something along the lines of 'you're a bitch, I hate you, you suck, nice ass though'

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

- Last night (I was listening to AC/DC aight.)

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

 - A fear of crocodiles is not a stupid phobia those things are fucking awful 

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

- Wtf bro no way

13: What's your religion?

- I pray to the invisible pink unicorn

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

 - Trying to get back inside

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

 - What kind of camera are we talking here?

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

 - Probably AC/DC?

17: What was the last lie you told?

 - "I'm fine." seems to be the most prominent one in my life.

18: Do you believe in karma?

 - Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch.

19: What does your URL mean?

 - My tumblr URL is to do with my one true love, Bucky Barnes

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

 - Greatest weakness: Everything.

 - Greatest strength: I can fit four jaffacakes into my mouth at once

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

 - Ugh Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie and Scarlett Johansson ugh

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

 - Nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

 - Listening to very loud rock music and staying alone

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

 - Souls of my enemies

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

- Talking on the phone

26: Are you happy with the person you've become?

 - Is anyone?

27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

 - Sound I hate: fingernails on chalkboards

 - Sound I love: smooth blues

28: What's your biggest "what if"?

 - What if I hadn't fucked up my entire existence?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

 - We literally cannot be the only life in a massive universe

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

 - Clothes on my right, a bike on my left

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

 - Nothing? Air? Idk

32: What's the worst place you have ever been to?

 - Haven't ever really been somewhere awful

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

 - West Coast probably

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

 - idk cus Alex Band isn't that good looking but then again this photo that might be of him

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

- Fuck bitches get money

36: Define Art.

- pretty af

37: Do you believe in luck?

- are you fucking kidding me there are so many things that happen by chance that are good

38: What's the weather like right now?

- Crappy

39: What time is it?

- Half three

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

 - Nope, I'm not trusted behind the wheel of a car

41: What was the last book you read?

 - The Help by Kathryn Stockett

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

 - Oh my God yes

43: Do you have any nicknames?

 - Steve (don't ask)

44: What was the last film you saw?

 - Down With Love (if only for sixties clothing and Ewan McGregor's face.)

45: What's the worst injury you've ever had?

 - I nearly broke my arm a few years ago because I'm a fucking idiot and fell up a set of stairs

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

 - Nope that requires a considerable amount of skill

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

 - I've been watching House nonstop since Christmas because Hugh Laurie is my spirit animal

48: What's your sexual orientation?

 - straight probably idk

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

 - Like 85% sure someone once tried to tell people I was gay with my best friend

50: Do you believe in magic?

 - not really

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

 - I'm too lazy to hold a grudge

52: What is your astrological sign?

 - Aquarius, which means I am:

Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached

53: Do you save money or spend it?

 - Both really

54: What's the last thing you purchased?

 - A cute hat from amazon

55: Love or lust?

 - Lust

56: In a relationship?

 - Haha no

57: How many relationships have you had?

 - Four

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

 - Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

 - Out at dinner with a group of losers

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

 - Pink socks A+

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

 - The pink socks I just mentioned

62: What's your favourite animal?

 - Cats are adorable af tbh

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

 - My sex appeal and complete lack of giving a shit

64: Who is your best friend?

 - I like to think of myself as my best friend
 

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

 - My blog

 - My blog

 - My blog

 - My blog

 - Chrisevans-sexualfrustrations

66: What is your heritage?

 - Irish and Australian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

 - Sleeping who the fuck do you think I am

68: What do you think is Satan's last name?

- Coincidentally, we share the same last name

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

 - Yeah, and it's A+

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

 - No I'm a complete asshole, and I don't even like myself now

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

 - Grab the nearest person who can actually swim well and get them to save the dog

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

 - A.) Probably wouldn't tell anyone. Maybe my mum? B.) I would commit as many shitty, illegal, self destructive things as possible because I'll give even less of a shit than I did before. C.) I'd probably be too drunk/stoned to care at that point, as part B would involve taking copious amounts of feel-goods

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

  - Trust

74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

  - You Always Make Me Smile

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

 - Idfk man

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

 - Me not being in it

77: How can I win your heart?

- I don't have one, it's scientifically impossible

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

 - Generally, yes

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

 - Stop giving a shit

80: What size shoes do you wear?

 - UK size five

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

 - "Eat my dead ass."

82: What is your favourite word?

 - Fuck 

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

 - Broken

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

 - I'm at least ___% sure that...

85: What's the last song you listened to?

 - Going to Hell by The Pretty Reckless

86: Basic question; what's your favourite colour/colours?

 - Green

87: What is your current desktop picture?

 - Captain America because Chris Evans is pretty af

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

 - Probably myself

89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

 - This question?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

 - Start getting my freak on

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

 - The ability to actually be attractive/funny/talented

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

 - Probably some point during my trip to Ecuador

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

 - 89% of my existence

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

- Probably Chris Evans
- Definitely Chris Evans

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

 - Back to Ecuador, or to California

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

 - Not that I'm aware of, despite being part Australian

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

 - I don't get carsick I'm not weak af

98: Ever been on a plane?

 - Yea 

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

 - Talk shit get hit motherfucker

 

 

Song of the week: Crazy in Love from the 50 Shades of Grey Soundtrack (just about the only good thing about this godforsaken franchise.)
Woman Crush of the Week: Hayley Atwell
Man Crush of the Week: Ewan McGregor
Movie of the Week: The Kingsman

Aight, that's me done for the week. As always, stay safe, and

 

I'm with you to the end of the line, folks ♥

21 Funny Questions Tag with Saturday's Payton

Hey!

It's Saturday again which means that it is a post from me, your Miss Saturday here on the Seven Sweethearts blog....... it's Payton!

This week I thought that it would be fun to do a tag and as you only read posts from me once a week I decided that it would be good for you to get to know me better so I am going to do a 21 random questions tag where my answers will probably be very random, so let's get started!

1. Are you named after anyone? I don't think that I am named after anyone, although I like to think I am named after someone really amazing!

2. When was the last time you cried? The last time I cried was when I was watching a re-run of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making The Team,I know that's sad but it's true as my favorite person go cut.

3. Do you have kids? No, I think that I am a bit too young to have kids and besides that I need a boyfriend to have kids with!

4. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? I think that I would like to be a friend of myself, although I think that I would have to see myself in small doses as I sometimes can barely stand myself at the best of times!

5. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Uhhh.....yeah totally! I asked Ash this question when I saw this tag and she said yes so I am going with that answer!

6. Will you ever bungee-jump? I don't know, I would probably be too scared to do that although I would like to Sky-Dive if I had the chance!

7. What’s your favorite cereal? I don't usually eat cereal, although at the moment I am in love with Rice Crispies and Honey Cheerios!

8. What’s the first thing you notice about people? I notice what they are wearing and their hair and their eyes, well I think that's what I do!

9. What is your eye color? I have always said my eye color is blue so I am going with that although my eyes can somethings be a blue-green color which is really pretty.

10. Scary movie or happy endings? I am always scared at something as I always get scared really easy, I am trying to watch more scary movies though to stop me being scared of anything so the most recent scary movie I have watched was Lesbian Vampire Killers (which stars James Corden) and that film is a horror-comedy so I hope that counts! From this I will say that I prefer happy endings because I mean who doesn't want a happy ending?

11. Favorite smells? Anything that smells nice maybe? I know a lot of people say this and I know it's weird but I love the smell when you are at a petrol station, I don't know why? But I do love flowers and perfumes and that which smell nice!

12. Summer or winter? How can I choose between two awesome seasons! Both Summer and Winter are amazing times of year as Summer you can go on holiday and it is warm but in Winter you have Christmas and my Birthday, so I don't know the answer to that one, sorry!

13. Computer or television? Computer all the way! C'mon with a computer you can do so many things INCLUDING WATCHING TV which makes you have both things!

14. What’s the furthest you've ever been from home? The furthest I've been from home is Cyprus, that is about 2,000 miles however I will be travelling further than that when I go to New York with Belle in October (New York is about 3,400 miles away from England)

15. Do you have any special talents? I don't think I have any special talents that are good really although I can still get my foot up to my head so I am sort of flexible!

16. Where were you born? I was born in a hospital........in England.

17. What are your hobbies? Well I don't really have any proper hobbies, if you call watching TV and YouTube a hobby then I do have a hobby, although doing this blog with the other girls is a hobby!

18. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a billion and one pets. Seriously though I have 6 cats! Oh and there's a few fish in this fish tank we own in our house. 

19. Favorite movie? Why do you have to make me pick a favorite movie? Like this answer changes on a daily basis, actually like three movies have just popped into my head so here they are: Pitch Perfect, Hunger Games, and this one isn't quite a movie but its a movie length and its The Sound Of Music Live! (the one starring Carrie Underwood)

20. Do you have any siblings? Nope. Only child swagg! 

21. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Princess, well that's most little girls' dream, I actually want to work with children and I don't know in what way whether it be a teacher but I love Psychology so something to do with Children and Psychology.

Right that's 21 questions and answers all about me, I hope that you enjoyed getting to know me better, comment what things about you are similar to me, because I would like to know!

See you next Saturday!

Payton <3