Sunday, 3 May 2015

It's Been a Criminally Long Time - Wednesday's Child

It's been a reaaallly long time. And for that, I'm gonna give you a straight up apology. But my reasons for it are genuine - exams bruh.

However, Belle gave me inspiration to post another useless ninety nine facts about myself that you probably could live without, and so, as a result, this post is a cop-out. It's literally just a string of facts about me that my useless, sleep deprived brain has managed to put together coherently. (Sometimes.)

After my exams are done, *Arnie voice* I'll be back. With reviews for Aliens, Terminator, hopefully Alien: Isolation, and also a more serious post about my recent trip to Auschwitz. Until then, have these facts about yours truly.
1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don’t have a closet I’m a peasant
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? As mentioned before, I’m a peasant and those little bottles are cute. Of course.
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out, as I’m prone to moving around into mildly concerning positions during the night, and there’s a very real chance I’d suffocate myself if I tried to do a 180 degree turn with the sheets in
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? None of the signs around me are funny enough to
5: Do you like to use post-it notes? I prefer to use my arm
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I literally never look at coupons
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bees, all you gotta do is get yourself into a car and you’ve got that shit locked down
8: Do you have freckles? So many
9: Do you always smile for pictures? Either way I look ridiculous
10: What is the most annoying thing? People
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I have at least 48 other things I could be doing with my time?
12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Hiking is beautiful thing that allows you to get close to nature in some incredible ways
13: What about pooped in the woods? This is not one of those incredible ways
14:Do you ever dance even if there’s no music playing? You’re going to be pretty hard pressed to find me without music very nearby
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils? It’s a disgusting habit that I indulge in with no regret
16:How many people have you slept with this week? Are we talking in my head or in the cold hard reality of day?
18:What is your Song of the week? Stop, I’m Already Dead by Deadboy & the Elephants
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes?
20:Do you still watch cartoons? Hell yeah
21:Whats your least favorite movie? Don’t touch me with Fifty Shades of Fucked Up
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? If I tell you you’ll just dig it up and I can’t be dealing with that
23:What do you drink with dinner? Water, lemon squash, the blood of sinners, herbal tea… Whatever’s in the vicinity
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in? My mouth
25:What is your favorite food? Human souls
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Aliens, Terminator, The Help
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you? Are you fucking kidding me no one goes near me let alone kisses me
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Metaphorically or literally? Either way it’s a no
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Well, the education system in this country’s going into the shit, may as well keep my options open
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? My nostalgia game isn’t that strong, I have no idea.
31:Can you change the oil on a car? Nope
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope
33:Ever ran out of gas? Nope
34:Favorite kind of sandwich? Human
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast? The tears of the innocent
36:What is your usual bedtime? Whenever the fuck I feel like it
37:Are you lazy? Phft of course
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? I always dressed as a small child that would stay inside and watch horror movies with her mum
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign? Ay I’m a Tiger step back motherfuckers
40:How many languages can you speak? Four billion and two
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Damnation Monthly – Satan’s monthly gossip rag
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs? What the fuck are Lincoln logs
43:Are you stubborn? No of course im not stubborn. Im not. Definitely not
44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Oprah
45:Ever watch soap operas? No thank u
46:Are you afraid of heights? Hell naw
47:Do you sing in the car? I am an underappreciated musical genius, and people don’t appreciate it when I burst into song in the car
48:Do you sing in the shower? The acoustics are great in those things
49:Do you dance in the car? No, I value my life?
50:Ever used a gun? No because I live in a country with sensible gun control laws.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Fuck idk man
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy? Musicals are happiness
53:Is Christmas stressful? ugh
54:Ever eat a pierogi? No but they look delicious
55:Favorite type of fruit pie? cherry *cue the song by Warrant playing in the distance*
57:Do you believe in ghosts? Do ghosts believe in you?
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Hasn’t everyone?
59:Take a vitamin daily? No im hardcore af
60:Wear slippers? Ugh no
61:Wear a bath robe? Who has time for that
62:What do you wear to bed? T-shirt and underwear normally
63:First concert? Literally never been to a concert this question is invalid
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? I’ve never been in one of them, so
65:Nike or Adidas? nike? idk
66:Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos?
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts (except when I dated a guy who was allergic to nuts and stopped eating them cus I didn’t want him to go into anaphylactic shock when we kissed)
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No
69:Ever take dance lessons? My parents realised from a young age what an uncoordinated shit I am, so no
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Ruling hell probably idk
71:Can you curl your tongue? My only notable skill
72:Ever won a spelling bee? No fucking way
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy? I’m more likely to cry from laughter than from sadness
74:Own any record albums? Quite a fair few
75:Own a record player? Yep, an old seventies one
76:Regularly burn incense? Not usually as it just smells like burning?
77:Ever been in love? Nope, I’m emotionally unavailable. (I’m also not even eighteen so like, give it time)
78:Who would you like to see in concert? You Me At Six, or AC/DC
79:What was the last concert you saw? We’ve been through this
80:Hot tea or cold tea? Hot?
81:Tea or coffee or hot chocolate? Coffee, and Detox Tea
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles? Snickerdoodle sounds like a dirty word
83:Can you swim well? My style is more like ‘sinking dramatically with a side of drowning’
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes?
85:Are you patient? Not if there’s food involved I’m not
86:DJ or band, at a wedding? I would perform at my own wedding. My guests deserve the best in low level entertainment
87:Ever won a contest? Yep
88:Ever have plastic surgery? I’m seventeen, let me move somewhere with lax morals first
89:Which are better black or green olives? Olives are the bane of my existence
90:Can you knit or crochet? *strained laughter*  
91:Best room for a fireplace? Away from me in case I accidentally set fire and burn down everything in fifty foot radius
92:Do you want to get married? Maybe, if that guy is like… Chris Evans or something
93:If married, how long have you been married? I’m really very much unmarried
94:Who was your High School crush? I’ve had more than one
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Who the fuck even does that?
96:Do you have kids? Ew no
97:Do you want kids? Ew no
98:Whats your favorite color? Green, or black. Like my hell-bound soul.

99:Do you miss anyone right now? Corporal Dwayne Hicks, who was absent from Aliens: 3 and didn’t get the heroic death he deserved due to issues with writing and pre-production of the film and 

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